Caution: this post may contain porn

Via Instapundit, Elie Mystal at Above The Law dot com.  Elie seems like a good bloke with a healthy sense of humor, and he would like us to consider this news story about a porn-happy judge.

Why, I’d be glad to.

Apparently, Manhattan criminal court judge James Gibbons resigned “after officials found a massive porn stash on his work computer, sources said Thursday.”

Porn aficionado

Elie’s shock-o-meter isn’t getting too much of a workout over it: “Sorry, I’m just not so quick to crucify a man for having porn on his computer. Maybe he should have to step down for being a freaking idiot. Why do people insist on keeping porn on their work computers? The external hard drive was invented for porn, much like the internet itself.  But aside from giant stupidity, I don’t have an inherent problem with a judge bringing some porn into his chambers.”
Me too.  Oh no, not . . .not . . . PORN!!

not porn

But let’s focus on the ‘freaking idiot’ and his ‘giant stupidity’ for now, shall we?  Because Elie kind of misses a few things in his analysis.  To wit:
“Not that anybody will really notice this part of the story, but we should chalk this up as another example of how society really doesn’t respect men who take paternity leave. Can you imagine if somebody went sleuthing around on a woman’s computer while she was out of the office on maternity leave?”
And,
“Why do people insist on keeping porn on their work computers? The external hard drive was invented for porn, much like the internet itself.”

Look, dude.  Nobody picked his computer at random, or just decided to pop into the judge’s office for a quick email and oh, what’s this?  The reason I don’t surf porn at work, and the reason you shouldn’t either, is that it’s really easy to set up a network to record internet traffic.
That’s what happened to the judge.  They noticed some unusual in-and-out (giggity) and they went to investigate.  And before you even ask: no.  Wearing a condom will not help.
You’d think a guy the article describes as “whip-smart” and “a very careful judge” might have thought of that.

porn?

And external hard drives?  Really?  Maybe if you’re bringing your porn from home to play with.
That’s only if your employer hasn’t disabled the USB ports.  Lots of them do, these days.

Just to end on a cheerful note, Elie gives us this quote: “The Manhattan district attorney’s office is scouring the vile files to determine if criminal charges are warranted — and are checking whether any of the women are underage.”
The DA is scouring the files.  To determine, uh, if criminal charges are, y’know, warranted.  That’s all, really.

Scouring. Heh.

I think the judge and the DA should trade jobs.  Then everyone would be happy!

That’s my rule 5 for the week!  Okay, not really.